Friends with benefits is a state of relationship that many of us are all too familiar with. We get into them for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it feels like a magnet is pulling your bodies together, sometimes it’s the lab partner you see on a weekly basis (you know…that one day made cleaning beakers hot), sometimes it’s the guy one floor down that you chatted up at the coffee shop and sometimes it’s simply because you’re bored and they offer to bring more wine.
You may agree with most and disagree with a few, but if you’ve ever been an FWB you know exactly what I’m talking about. Hey! I didn’t make the rules but I do want to share them with you; so, pony up, take a read to #FWBrules to follow
1. They are time limited. The lifespan of your love affair is limited and you have to come to terms with that going into the arrangement.
2. There are rules to the frequency of engagement. Basically, anywhere from once a week to once a month is acceptable, unless, it’s a holiday or long weekend. The key is to keep things light and casual – no back to back encounters (sex marathon-ing to break a world record doesn’t count, but keep the Powerade refrigerated).
3. Presents like small trinkets or picking up the bill are ok, but don’t expect a gift for you birthday or for a respective holiday. Gift giving is for sentimental relationships.
4. Use safer sex practices; because, some gifts are the ones that keep on giving.
5. Your FWB can’t be someone you work with. Been there, done that. Staff meetings just get awkward.
6. An open line of dirty/sexy texts should only be sent after dark. No daytime conversational texts. You have enough friends; tell them about your Game of Thrones spoiler.
7. On that note, when you do reach out you can ring them once but don’t expect a response right away. As much as you and I both wish that life was about people waiting around to have sex with you they also lead lives. You are not allowed to get mad if the hook-up doesn’t happen.
8. Keep it simple. Explore your fantasies, be real and don’t be self conscience about your body. There is nothing more unsexy than an FWB who over thinks their looks or the situation, unless lingerie, toys or fetish play is involved.
9. Don’t fall in love. Ever…. I mean it.
10. Sleeping over is appreciated, but not expected. Some FWB arrangements work best with the no sleep-over rule and some require it, especially if you’re coming in from out of town or you both pass out from the Grey Goose. It’s safe to say that if you’re in a less than $20 cab ride radius, split it and get back to star fishing in your own bed.
11. The 72 hour rule. No pre-planning is allowed to happen prior to 72 hours before said hook-up. *Exception: if you don’t live in the same city, planning is sometimes required if that’s your agreed to arrangement but, there are also those times that out of courtesy you let each other know you’re in town but have no obligations to hang out.
12. Sexting is encouraged. Well, because it’s hot; but, have an agreement on sharing dirty pics that you’re both comfortable with. No one likes to be pressured to share the goods digitally and, no one likes to see a surprise meme of their bodacious booty on Google.
13. Both of you get off. Both. Of. You. No one likes a greedy booty call; and, when it’s this good, that’s not a risk you’re willing to take, now is it?
14. Be open to trying new things and being experimental in between the sheets. You’re already taking a risk so why not take advantage of this new opportunity? Want to play a game of hide the pinky or show off your bendy-flexi that you’ve developed since joining hot yoga twice a week? FWBs are the best guinea pigs to try out that tongue flick you just read about or that pick-up line because it’s about having fun, letting go and breaking all the naughty rules.